Just for you."Tom lay on the couch, watching the women clean up after dinner.There was something relaxingly sexist about the act. It reminded him of home. Of childhood, before he entered real life. Before life began rejecting him. Women in the kitchen, talking. Men in the den, doing the same. A game on the TV. Tom sitting on the floor, eyes going between the glowing screen and the faces that dominated his life.They could recreate that.Not TV, no. While putting some sort of hydro or wind power here was possible, that wasn't on the agenda. He could be a Grandpa, though. Tom would live long. He knew that, somehow. The Lady would see to it. He would see his children grow, mate, give them their own children. He could sit with his sons and grandsons by the fire, talking of the farm, of fishing, while three or four generations of women busied themselves with the next meal. A small boy in his lap, playing with his large fingers callused with years of work.He closed his eyes. The Lady offered. We don't necessarily like the music, but we can't seem to do anything about it." Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?" Yes," she responded, "about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do."Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can't communicate with me.A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife."You come to the front door of the apartment building. I am in apartment 3-1There is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 3-1. I will buzz you in. Come inside and the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with your elbow, push 3rd Floor. When you get out,I'm on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell. OK?" Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?"What, You're coming empty handed?"An old Italian man in Brooklyn is dying. He calls.
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